Ached for people and place

almost three months and am still ached for everything i experienced with them. the pressure, uncomfortable place, memories ( i have alot, kalo kata agnes, gwe uda seguling dan segulung dengan mereka), food that we ate, rainforest that we crossed in, song that we sang (Top of the world, and SKJ, more)

there's something i never realize till we're apart, , ,

temanku berkata, "aku begitu bersinar ketika di Sempu"

kangen banget sama saat-saat di DAAI. ( walo tadinya, gwe suka sebel banget ma temen-temen disana. tapi ternyata ketika gwe uda ga disana, malah rindu setengah mati.)
kangen banget sama setiap kerjaannya, dimana gwe disebut sebagai wartawan.
gwe yang menghasilkan karya, dalam tulisan ataupun video. gwe berkarya, gwe menghadapi tantangan dan gwe tertantang.

kalo kata EF : "jiwa" lo itu di media, bukan di pabrik.
tapi sekarang gwe di pabrik. i'm stuck here.
memang, gaji lebih gede banyak. gwe bisa cicil rumah dan get married.
tapi gwe kehilangan outdoor. gwe kehilangan bareng temen-temen yang rese.

bingung juga mesti gimana. kalo mau dibilang, sekarang gwe juga hidup dengan senang. punya bos yang cihui dan gaji yang melebihkan gwe. tapi, gwe kangen saat2 dulu.
kangen teramat sangat. tapi mungkin saja, gwe akan merindukan bos gwe dan agnes juga kalo gwe ga di sini lagi.

binguuuuung.. karena i really miss it damn much.

ya ampunnn Tuhan, please take care of these suck feeling. i love job that i used to do. i love people that i used to meet and work with. i love the outdoor that i used to step in to.

gwe jadi inget kata-kata lyvia yang bilang kalo dia jadi gwe, dia akan menikmati jalan-jalan gratis dari sahabat alam. hehe. dan harusnya gwe juga dulu kayak gitu. tapi pada saat dulu, gwe malah menginginkan pekerjaan yang seperti wanita normal lakukan.

dear God,
i'm sucks! i dont want to be like this.
need to follow You like i used to be
i feel lost, and You left me, or maybe i'm the one who left You behind
dont want to walk in Your track again
but now i'm desperate and feel like a beggar, smell like a rubbish.

i want my pride as a wise woman again
dont want to be a women who destroy another s life
unwise..

jadi yang "ter-"

pengennyaaa jadi yang pertama.. jadi pusat perhatian.. jadi yang terbaik.. jadi yang terbenar.. jadi yang tercepat.. jadi yang tercepat..

tapi disetiap tempat, setiap orang selalu memiliki orang yang lebih baik dari dia.. orang yang lebih benar dari dia... lebih tampan, lebih cantik.. lebih pintar ataupun juga lebih kaya..

pusing juga apabila terobsesi untuk mejadi yang "ter-"
solusinya cukup dengan alhamdulilah saja
maka akan menuntaskan segalanya.

Ga pengen kerja deh. Pengen punya usaha yang menghasilkan. tanpa gwe mesti ngantor bla bla bla........

Pa,, aku pengen punya usaha sendiri yang menghasilkan bole ga??

aku rindu banget hadiratMU

Tie a Knot

this day exactly, one year ahead, we will wear this beautiful wedding ring, and make a promise for a lifetime

dan untuk masa masa pra-nikah ini, akan kami persiapkan dengan sungguh sungguh. Menjaga kekudusan dan membangun kasih dengan benar.

only one thing that i ask for You,

so in my wedding day and my marriage, Your presence will be there, and proud of us.

Softness and Kindness

song at my heart, also it can turn to be a pray.. so deep.. soft and gentle

that i'm longing of the Christ seems real for me like it used to be..

though i still love Him, still Trust Him

but feeling of kindness and bowed heart that i am having now

i'm longing for Him, moreover to bow down as a women

hey Jesus, i'm leaving all my pride and arogantness..

i am just the way i am.. weak but want to seems i'm tough

and here it is, the song that bring me to You^^

enjoy, Dad

She was only 17

Wild at heart and following her dreams

Believing she was pretty

Got a ticket to the city

Where she'd find her place on the cover of a magazine

It was only a chat room, but it would lead the way

To the door of a man where she'd throw it all away

He said they'd take it slow

But little did she know

She'd be all used up by the end of the day

But she was strong

And she would survive

Ambition would be her drive

And she said...

I'll make a way

I'll do whatever it takes

Even though it won't be easy

I have a plan and though

I may not understand

Someday, I'll make a way

Where did she go wrong, how did she get here?

Livin' hard and looking older than her years

Miss Little Big Town

Trying to hold a job down

Doing what she could to choke her fears

But she was strong

And she would survive

A spark of hope had kept her dream alive

And she cried...

I'll make a way

I'll do whatever it takes

Even though it won't be easy

I have a plan and though

I may not understand

Someday, I'll make a way

Someday, I'll make a way

Walking down the road

In the city where she'd come with so much hope

Her vision had long died

Along with all her pride

And she found herself at the end of her rope

But she heard angels through the door

Of a church she'd passed a million times before

There was a song of heaven ringing

And soon she found herself believing

That out there maybe there was something more

So she bowed her head to pray

And said, Jesus, please make a wayAnd she heard Him say...

I'll make a way

I'll do whatever it takes

Even though it won't be easy

I have a plan and though you may not understand

Today, I'll make a way

Hallelujah, hallelujahHallelujah

Today He'll make a way